Jul. 13th, 2008 | 06:30 pm
i'm not going to be one of those people that "grows up". to me its always been one of those things where once people accept adulthood they seem to lose a part of themselves that leaves them seem so defined or serious. i'm not saying all "adults" are like this. its just anything that anyone does that's considered mature or grown up lacks an open field of creativity. its always been something that scares me. that whole aspect of life where by a certain age you have to become a certain way in order for to be taken seriously or have things work out a certain way. it scares me and disgusts me. its something i've personally vowed to never become.
one thing is I've always said was: "i'm going to be a kid foreva!"...and the needle point of this realization is is that i really cant. i no longer have that wonderment and amazement that i had as a kid. i'm not as ignorant[the good sort of ignorant] i've learned and know tings now. i dont see things at all like i use too. the only thing that would make me a kid is my "childish" behavior. but the more i think or feel this i realize there's more to being a kid than behavior. it is the way you see or think about things. things look and feel or seem different.
so i act like a kid but i'm not a kid. im at the age of an adult but i'm in no way what one would usually consider an adult...where does that leave me? because lately i don't feel solid on anything and my view on how i should be or act has been greatly distorted. the closet thing you could say is "somewhere in the between of adulthood and childism"...but i'm really not. i feel like im just sort of chillin in this more unknown zone where i try to keep the ideals of a child strong in my head but act on my own accord that to some may just seem like an immature asshole with the tendency of seriousness. i don't even know how to end this. but all i know is im not an adult and not really a child and i would prefer people on both ends leave me alone on how i should be...
one thing is I've always said was: "i'm going to be a kid foreva!"...and the needle point of this realization is is that i really cant. i no longer have that wonderment and amazement that i had as a kid. i'm not as ignorant[the good sort of ignorant] i've learned and know tings now. i dont see things at all like i use too. the only thing that would make me a kid is my "childish" behavior. but the more i think or feel this i realize there's more to being a kid than behavior. it is the way you see or think about things. things look and feel or seem different.
so i act like a kid but i'm not a kid. im at the age of an adult but i'm in no way what one would usually consider an adult...where does that leave me? because lately i don't feel solid on anything and my view on how i should be or act has been greatly distorted. the closet thing you could say is "somewhere in the between of adulthood and childism"...but i'm really not. i feel like im just sort of chillin in this more unknown zone where i try to keep the ideals of a child strong in my head but act on my own accord that to some may just seem like an immature asshole with the tendency of seriousness. i don't even know how to end this. but all i know is im not an adult and not really a child and i would prefer people on both ends leave me alone on how i should be...
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