old writing ruff draff

the ways of my past came up to me pretending to be perfected angels. i was sick of it. i spent my time ignoring it. but they crept in closer and closer touching the very energy of being inside me. i couldnt contain it some days. they were trying to convince me it was the way, the path to salvation.
"fuck that! ive burnt away the way, ive stampeded over it. ive destroyed salvation and found my own way. there is no way but where i step and create it with my own blistering feet!"
but ghost never go away. i could tell they wouldnt any time soon. so i searched for my demons so i could live like a free man. i searched for sages to feel the true balance. i searched for buddhas to find my own enlightment. i searched for mother earth to feel one with my roots. i talked to philosiphers, teachers, mentors, burnt their flame on a candle then licked it out.
"im escaping" i keep whispering to myself. im getting closer. but ghosts never go away. and i can still feel them gripping at my heart. so i keep on walking and walking. blazing trails as i go along. trying to step a little further ahead.
"am i getting there?" i keep asking myself "am i really getting there?"
in closey behind my ear i hear a faint whipser "no..."...and then there was silence.