random thoughts/sentences

my idea of time has been heavily distorted. what felt like 2 days has been 12 hours and i dont remember sleeping.

life to me is a completely fluid possibility of anything and nothing. and i mean that to its fullest extent. there could be a real life manbearpig that ate god and puked out a universe for all i know.
or its just what we see. i dont know. anything is possible.

every style of music i've gotten into as of late is considered dead. riddled with assholes and serious people who took the fun away. i want to be the person to zombifies it. make it walk the night and eat the brains of the assholes and the people who let it died and have them shut the fuck up.

i currently cant breathe out of my nose and everything smells like boogers.

the last 5 years of my life have been heavily echoing in my head. im not proud. i feel secretly embaressed as i try to not feel overwhelmingly stupid about some things i use to think were important. they should be lessons. on ways to in my own perspective. better myself.

i hate talking and acting in the idea of right or wrong, perfection and flaws. its hard to kick some old habits tho.

i feel hopeless and still laugh. to me thats how i should treat life and all its little tragedies. laugh at it. laugh at every problem and issue of myself and everyone else. even if its a weak sad pathetic laugh just laugh. smile. and try to move the fuck on.

i'll read any book that interests me within a day or two. if it's not neat i'll read till it feels like my eyes are bleeding which usually only takes an hour or two. which you know. could feel like half a day to me.

that's all.

echoe

so many things echo(echo(cho(coh(diferently(ecoriffently(echo(riffently(than(an(how(ow
(itsomet(tsomet(imes(imes(imessounds(souds
in my head....

112508

there was something shaking hard. nothing visible. just was. i felt more jumbled. more confused.
just wake up. that's what i need. to just wake up.
people were getting fuzzier. weirder. different. they seem to be losing focus in my head in my eyes.
we were all inconsistent now. great. just great.
it's all still shaking.
"wake up james" my voice tells me. am i really dreaming tho?
"wake up jaaaaaaaaames" my voice repeats.

i feel like im flashing. like my eyes inside my head are flickering on and off. trying to open themselves.
im falling down. everything is still shaking. i feel exhausted.
"wake up"
its all a bit more faint. a bit more quiet. calmer. i think i feel my eyes stopping. im not where/who/what/why/when i seem. they all fit at this point.
its coming clear again minus the details. people are still fuzzy. everything is still weirder than what i thought it would be.
my heart is out of beat. out paced. my eyes are starting to feel like a resting humming bird.

"wake up"
"i am"
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i woke up in the form of an ironic laugh. i was heard everywhere i went far and wide.
not even the biggest hands covering ears could block me out now.
i was going fast. loud. ecstatic. happy. the world felt faster. everything seemed sad until i came in. i was the echoing dance insulting the world of seriousness. i was color. they were all black and white. i sucked people in my vacuum. they were building me up. i gave them life. color.
for a second nothing could stop me. you couldn't stop sound like this i thought.

then...somehow, i hiccuped. which caused a snapping like feeling that could only be described
like a snap of a rubber band. i shot back, fast, hard, painfully. people exploded back to where
they were. color leaked away. things started to feel slow again. became quieter. duller.

by the time i was back i woke up fairly normal. only a little bit disarranged.
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so one day i turn all my friends to marbles and put them in a little pouch. i carried it around with my everywhere and played with them every chance i had. i didnt know how they felt about this, but i assumed at the fact whenever my mind wandered theyd try to roll away they did not enjoy themselves.

so i then decided to trad them to a bunch of alley cats for their eyes. the cats had more fun with them then what i did and i had a whole collection of neat perspectives to look thru.

were there any repercussions? not at all.

well maybe the fact i didnt have friends anymore.
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the Buddha allowed me to call him by his secret name. we debated the existence of tea. he sat in peace i sat in a flurry. mutal decision to relax and breath. he became the world. i became my mind. he grew and expanded knowledge, i shrunk into myself, i existed in my world, he existed in THE world. we both vanished into our respective spots. our tea went cold. time grew.
he came back a wiser older man.
i only came back slightly nutty....nothing was ever the same again.

END

7

somewhere deep inside my brain i get the feeling that i am a key part of the apocolypse....


that would be fun.

5

a man once told me about how slinging
words of figure 8's no longer hold an
authentic feel.

"you can only build kingdoms
so high on simple words
before the foundation
starts to snap"

we were hit by a sand storm
from off the distance.
flecks of rubble found its
way onto my tongue.

all around me
cities fell.

words meant nothing.

2

i sleep in my clothes
all the time

one morning i wake up
and wander over to
the store

the worker notices me in
the same clothes
and asks me if i got lucky
last night with a cocky
grin

i put down a can of drink
and pulled out two dollars
and told him "yeah i did,
i found two dollars on the
ground last night"

payed for the drink
and went on my merryish
way.

1

there was once a sage
who started his day
peeling off the cracked
dull words he spoke
so many years before this day.

the times were changing
he'd tell himself.
but he knew his time was
just about up.

he didn't bother packing his
things. he just got up
and headed across the lands
and fields, climbing hills,
walked thru a few village streets
until he reached a far isolated
field. with a single tree.

he settled himself down and
positioned himself in full lotus
position. meditating. breathing
what he knew to be his last
few breathes.

time passed as it normally did
for what felt like years.

the sage finally found his last moment
of peace tho.

until next time,
he whispered.

with a sudden flash, his flesh left
him and he was left as a single
statue under a tree...